9 December 2007
HITMAN - Could this be the worst film of the year?
I had never really been looking forward to another big screen video game adaptation but I was well aware that Hitman was in production. I watched Hitman at one of the local cinemas and when I turned up I had in mind to watch another film but seeing that I had some time to kill I decided to take a gamble. The choice on offer at this hi tech postmodern multiplex was scandalously poor. Not one world cinema film was being shown nor did I come across anything remotely marginal or interesting, apart from The Assassination of Jesse James but it was the timings for that particular film were frankly crap. It seems diabolical how you can have Spiderman 3 playing in an infinite number of screen and yet here you have what is being regarded as one of the film's of the year playing in one measly pathetic small screen. I had no choice other than to walk away in disgust but I didn't. I don't know why though. Maybe I just needed to watch something. Anyway, Hitman eventually got started after nearly 40 minutes of annoying adverts and trailers, and as it turns out the trailers were better than the film. Unfortunately, I simply cannot be bothered providing a synopsis for what may be the worst film of the year. Whilst watching Hitman I could literally feel cinema coming to an end because how something as superficial and simply DUMB as this could secure financing and worldwide distribution is really beyond my comprehension. Films like Hitman are an example of cinema that is devoid of any real meaning or originality or emotion. It is a cinema of absence. The easy thing to do would be to label the film as disposable trash but it's actually one of the few films I have seen this year that gave me a headache! The visual motif of a barcode across the bald head of the actor Timothy Olyphant is not creative, nor is it stylistically impressive or visually exciting, it's like something designed and thought up by a ten year old school kid whilst doodling in his exercise book. The film seems to self destruct before it gets started with a terribly overdone flashback style montage of some monks carving barcodes into the back of the heads of some ghostly looking children who are being groomed to become some of the world's most dangerous and terrifying hitmen ever seen and who will all grow up to look like the baddie out of Die Hard 4 who was also one of the angry cowboys in the Deadwood TV series. Timothy Olyphant is not an actor, nor is he a star in the making, he is a supporting TV actor who has no range whatsoever. It comes of no surprise that Hitman is doing well commercially and will spawn a number of similarly dreadful straight to DVD sequels. Nothing works in this film, not even the European locations, and it has the distinct feel of a really bad made for TV movie. The worst sin is committed by the actor Dougray Scott (once touted as the next James Bond) who runs around trying to act and appear menacing. This is one to avoid.